Heart, Soul, and Strength

  "Get behind Me, Satan!  You are an offense to Me, for you are not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men.  -[Matthew 16:23]  It's amazing how hollow, empty noise can be so loud!  i don't miss some people's constant clanging and clamoring.  They claim and say a lot and that inspires me to say less and less.  i never want to be a clamoring clangor.  Sometimes i imagine myself smacking someone with a clamoring, clanging mouth.  Abba Father wouldn't like that.  i pray for You, Abba Father, that You will give me more patience.  Help me to find a way out of any difficult encounter with these types of people.  i know You know who they are.  Give me that spirit of love You will for me to have.  i can't find it on my own.  Give me Your heart for all those sounding brass and tinkling symbols. Give me the grace to modify my emotions.  i wish to respond to the clangors with the spirit of Jesus. ...

 i must learn that i must forgive because of what Jesus did for me.   It doesn't matter about what's been done to me.  i release the Table Talk crew and bus drivers who purposely slam on the brakes at bus stops because they know i have a bad back.  i must focus on what the blood of Jesus has done for me.  My pile of sins over the years is high and huge and i've been forgiven thanks to Jesus' work on the Cross.  Any offender's acts against me are mere pieces of paper that i threw toward the wastepaper basket and missed.  My willingness to forgive freely is a sure sin that i'm growing in God. That's my journey now.  To grow in God the rest of the way, journeyman that i am. Elephants can be mean.  i've heard it said that they have good memories.  So they probably have resentments which build up over time.  i watched a video of an elephant that crushed and destroyed a zebra at a watering hole.  i've seen one chase after an aut...

  3  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ,  4  just as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love,  5  having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure of His will,  6  to the praise of the glory of His grace, by which He  [ a ] made us accepted in the Beloved. - [Ephesians 1: 3-6] How many times have i said to myself, "Why can't more people be like me?" Rather than focusing on what others want me to be, i need to start asking You, Lord, what do You want me to be?  If You want me to change and be of service to You and others, then Your will--not mine--be done.  i know i've been so guilty of being so selfish and self-centered and then i have the audacity...

Love does not envy, parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely.  i don't think i've achieved that high-level kind of love, YAH.  i still lack growth and maturity spiritually.  Help me, Heavenly Father, to become more like Jesus.  Agape love is so different than the love that the world offers.  i know that this is the kind of love that should flow from my heart as a believer.  i am to give and give, even though my giving is not even acknowledged.  i have to learn that i don't need to be thank, just to be thankful.  It's my decision to just keep on loving, and the only way i'm going to be able to do that is to be filled by the Holy Spirit.  Seems these days people have forgotten the Holy Spirit.  They tend to think that God and Jesus couldn't possibly have any time for them, when all along the Holy Spirit is already within all of us who have accepted Jesus Christ and who have repented according to God's will. Love suffers long...

 PRIDEFUL ARROGANCE HAUGHTY SUPERIOR SNOOTY SNOBBISH CLANNISH Why should i step into the cookie-cutter clannish crab bucket?  Into this prideful and arrogant den of vipers?  i have been guilty of being tasteless and thoughtless, and that's what's going to happen to me again if i step into that cookie-cutter clannish crab bucket.  Abba Father, help me.  Keep me from becoming unseemly again. i know i can become insensitive to others.  i'm not anywhere near Your kind of agape love.  i have much work to do.  i always come short when it comes to the love test.  Put me on Your path to the high-level love that You want me to demonstrate in my life.     Speak to my heart, Holy Spirit.  Help me to strive in an acceptable way so that i may be excellent in God.  i know that Your blood cleansed me long ago.  Keep reminding me because i do tend to forget, though i know i shouldn't; and there are no excuses for forgetting....

 My decision is to live in victory.  Never mind the temporal reasons.  i remain true to the eternal reasons.  Come hell or high water, i'm in this army to stay! If they kill me, i still come out the victor because i'll join Jesus in His glorious resurrection.  i need more real love.  i know i have it for God--He knows it.  He knows what's in my heart.  But i have problems with people and their self-consuming chatter.  i sometimes wonder if i talk too seldom because yesterday on the bus i tried to have a conversation with a friend and my throat got so scratchy i could hardly talk.  i told him "i'm not used to talking."  i try not to be like "sounding brass" and a "tinkling cymbal."  It's so wonderful to not hear her.  It's like a glorious vacation for me.  i wish it had been longer.  A chance for some space and to forget her.  But the silence just reminds me of how it could be while she's not around, so i thi...

God doesn't choose to remember my iniquities..  Now under the blood of Jesus, God separates my sins from me forever!  Someone's who's been forgiven as much as i've been forgiven has no right to keep a record of someone else's mistakes.  i shall thinketh no evil and keep no records and because i am a child of God; or, i should say because i realize now that i am a child of God, i thought no evil of the man who died, who had lived in the same house as i had three and a half years ago.  Jesus released me from my past and now i'm on the right track.   i know i am not perfected in agape love; yet, God threw  away His diary about me, so i need to throw away mine.  YAH , take away my scheming and manipulating tendencies that sill reside in my soul, though i may be fooling myself that they might have disappeared from my brain.  Or heart.  i don't want to disappoint You anymore.  What i took for granted before, having no idea that i was disp...

  To rejoice at my brother's hardships is completely contrary to the love nature of God.  i pray for his restoration, Abba Father.  In Jesus's name.  Amen  i don't rejoice when i hear bad news about anybody.  After all, it could've been me.  i was sad when i heard about the death of somebody who proved to be nothing but grief to me when we lived in the same house together.  That was the real test!  i felt no joy or that vengeance was mine.  Vengeance is not mine, it belongs only to the Lord.  YAH has touched me with His Holy Spirit so that egotism and jealousy appears somewhere and with someone else.  i'm happy for someone who achieves what i wanted to before i ever do because i know that YAH has something better in store for me.  i declare this by faith in Jesus' name.  Amen But am i entitled to develop agape love if i can?  Ay, there's the rub!  If i can't honestly state what i think or want, then i won't ...

 Love does not react the way my way to people who've done me wrong.  And when something goes wrong with them, i've said, "Good, serves them right."  It's almost a sense of perverted joy when something wrong happens to them.  i've had bad enemies; i would've preferred to love them.  YAH, i should've prayed to You because i needed help dealing with my enemies.    If all of us don't repent, we will come under severe judgement.  Heavenly Father, there are many things bad someone has done to me.  He subjected me to humiliation, he bullied me, he intimidated me.  Perhaps he was resentful when i came along because now i took much of the attention away from him.  i forgive him, as i know You already have. You were looking over my shoulder when i wrote that note to him, telling him i hoped he would get right with You.  That You could love him a million times more than i could ever love him. i know You want me to forgive him, and i have,...

i remember seeking and enjoying inferior pleasure because i didn't have the wisdom to seek spiritual joy.  i don't believe it was about pursuing happiness--a very abused concept these days--for happiness is a fleeting emotion dependant on people and circumstances.  i was all into that.  Not only that but i allowed my emotions to run me--emotions which ran rampant.  It's easy for me to detect someone whose emotions are running rampant because i used to be guilty myself.  It got to the point that i didn't even want to count on hope anymore.  i had grown so cynical about life and about people.  i was spiritually thirsty.  And i had my Bible collecting dust on a shelf.  i had my dictionary and that was my bible for a time.   i'm certainly not one to preach or teach; yet i hope i can offer to anybody, even if it's one person, what i'm going through with this process of repentance.  i used to think repentance was a one-time deal by ...

  ...And when the Chief Shepherd appears you will receive the crown of glory that does not fade away.  Likewise you younger people submit yourselves to your elders.  Yes all of you be submissive to one another and be clothed with humility for God resists the proud But gives grace to the humble.  Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you in due time. - [1 Peter 5: 4-6] The protests on campus these days have got me bemused.  i mean, what has become of higher learning?  There seems to be more degrees handed out and less knowledge.  After all, what kind of degrees did the Nazis have when they exterminated the Jews?  Because there are more experts, there appear to be more problems.  i learned a long time ago that there must be a sense of justifying the solution's existence, but now there seems to be a desire to justify the existence of the problems. "Why I hate religion but love Jesus." by Jeff Bethke...

 There are taller buildings, yet my temper is shorter now.  Oh, i love architecture and sometimes i'm the only one of the bus not glued to his cell phone because i'm breathing in the architecture of the buildings downtown -- down to the very last gargoyle.  i pray to You, Abba Father, to help me use the views of the beauty of buildings because it was Your resurrection power which poked the man's mind to sit down and draw the plans.  i see wider highways for more and more cars to speed along and get into all kinds of road rage, yet it's the narrower viewpoints of the drivers which cause that rage.  Speaking of narrow, i'm beginning to realize the gate is getting narrower and narrower these days and that not everybody is going to get to heaven.  "Enter by the narrow gate; for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction.  And there are many who go in by it.  Because narrow is the gate and difficult is the way which leads to life, ...

i'm finished croaking, " i am here!  i am here!  i am here!"  If the Lord wants me to show myself or let myself be heard, i will do so in His time and according to His plan.  And if i'm going to be Christlike, then i can't give people what i think they deserve.  My poetic desires are waning because perhaps i feed a need to let go of all illusions.  i'm not qualified to instruct anybody with my words or verses.  Who would care to listen anyway?  They have singled me out because i am single.  Forgive them, Lord.  Jesus aims to transforms lives.  Could i ever be worthy of such a task?  It's been difficult transforming my own life.  Jesus has written His works in my heart.  i don't have to prove that or convince anyone of the validity of that statement.  i cannot transform a life or save a life, only YAH can do that. i need to abstain from all appearance of evil.  i not only need to be right, but i also need to ...

  Your word I have hidden in my heart. That I might not sin against You.  - [Psalm 119:11]  i heard someone tell about a friend who told him he'd rather be a fool on fire than a scholar on ice. Spiritual gifts are to edify others, not ourselves.  Love is the most important thing because YAH is love.  Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; Keep the door of my lips. - [Psalm 141:3]   i have to be of the same mind toward others.  There must be a unity of believers.  Why is it so difficult to find them?  i think our pride and our egos get in the way without exception.  Some folks are just not likeable.  But i know what Jesus said.  What good is it to love people we like?  Even the tax collectors can do that.  YAH, help all of us to be aware that You don't evaluate people the way we do.    Those of us who will be greatest in Your kingdom will be the greatest servants.  YAH, help all of us to be aware that Yo...

 So... i am learning that the Cross is the symbol of my faith.  One beam horizontal--the other vertical, like God's love.  One reaches out, the other reaches up as does God's holiness.  And i am beginning to realize the value of leaving that list at the foot of the Cross.  That list of all the people i want to bite.  Friends aren't always friendly.  Neighbors are unneighborly.  Some coworkers never work.  Some bosses are always too bossy.  There are those who make promises that are never kept.  i grow weary of hating so much so many times.  God wants my list.  "Just look what I did for you," Jesus reminds me.   O Lord, receive my spirit when Your time comes, and it's drawing nearer and closer. And i i were to face the challenge of being a martyr, i accept without boasting, with no pride whatsoever.  i'm not the best when it comes to going to church, but i've become really good at exiting its doors.  i k...

 YAH, place Your hand on the small of my back and guide me into seeking You with all my heart.  "And the rain fell and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall for it had been founded on the rock.  -[Mark 7:25]  i'm not a failure and i'm wired differently now.  i rarely want to listen to what the majority of people say these days.  i'm beginning to develop the knack of listening to what people are NOT saying.  Back in high school a classmate would say, "What's wrong with you!" because i'd laugh and laugh when it was my turn to read a paragraph or two during Reading class.  Remember, class of '74, that Newell again laughing at nothing during reading class.  He isn't normal, is he.  He's flipped his lid.  i don't recall allowing the devil to make me feel that there was a personal attack.  In fact, other than Flip Wilson's the devil made me do that  i didn't really think abou...

 Abba Father, thank You that You never turn away from me. You never take Your blessings back.  i stop it through my own stupidity and bad decisions.  i give Satan this place in my life.  i welcomed him in.  How dumb can i get and still breathe!  Thank You, YAH, that You still love me.  Help me to tell Satan that i don't care what i've done with him laughing and dancing in the background as i was doing those things.  i tell him myself that Jesus is the King and He is still my Lord.  Though i may make mistakes, i still refuse to allow you to dominate me.   The war is just about over- self-centeredness, the source of all my grief.  The confession with Jesus as Lord has to be a declaration of faith in Jesus as God manifest in the flesh.  A Jesus less than God could not provide salvation for the whole human race.  "Brood of vipers!  How can you, being evil, speak good things?  For out of the abundance of the hear...

  Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord.  And whose hope is the Lord. /for he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, Which spreads out its root by the river.  And will not fear when heat comes; But its leaf will be green, And will not be anxious in the year of drought, Nor will cease from yielding fruit.  -[Jeremiah 17: 7-8] Abba Father, help me to activate Your blessings through faith.  i hear You telling me to Quit That Mess!  Keep me praying, pausing, and listening.  i know that minor life decisions can have lifetime--or, in my case "rest of my lifetime" consequences.  Keep me reading Your Scriptures, because i know i'm beginning to feel a difference already having started to do that. Sin will always be an inroad of Satan in my life.  Help me not to stop Your blessings by helping me to cooperate with You at all costs, whether i lose status, whether i get kicked out of the library because i have Your Word open for all to see. ...

Heavenly Father, i'm beginning to understand what Brother Jack Hibbs means when he says it's time to quit.  And i know about putting my problems and dilemmas at the foot of the Cross and leave everything to You through my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  And i understand what Brother Rick Renner is talking about when he says to stand firm, keep my post, to resolve that i am going to remain faithful.  Yes, the best season of my life is just around the corner and it will not be my doing at all.  YAH, You will have Your guiding hand on me because You know i'm ready to listen and obey.  In Jesus' name. Amen Even at my worst, thanks to YHA, i am better than the devil at his best.  Therefore submit to God.  Resist the devil and he will flee from you. - [James 4:7] As i  live in faith and no longer just visit, i find that there are no compromises when it comes to You, YAH.  i'm tired of what people are trying to tell me what's okay.  i know what'...