Heart, Soul, and Strength

 i have been lawless and insubordinate to God and that has come with a price.  Paying that price has taught me that there is no way back to the old way.  There's no way i'm going back to the old way.  i trust God to take me by the hand whenever i reach up to Him and lead me to His way.  The Only Way.  May i never cause Him to disregard me.  May i never allow Satan to control or manipulate me to the point where i could go back to the old way.  With God's help that highway's been shut down. When it feels like i am in captivity, may God's hands, through His Holy spirit, be upon me to guide me in the direction he wants me to go according to His will, not mine.  May i be patient enough to wait on Him because He's got my story written already.  He's got my new name written on the back of a white stone.  May i look with my eyes and hear with my ears and fix my mind on everything He shows me now.  -[Ezekiel 40:4] Reading Ezekiel Chapte...

 i get annoyed with life's inconveniences.  i don't listen to what people say anymore; i listen to what they don't say. Your tongue devises destruction like a sharp razor working deceitfully.  You love evil more than good, lying rather than speaking righteousness.  - [Psalm 52: 2-3] Your calming presence is always available.  Above and beyond what i can see and hear, i believe Your Word.  Grace through faith is the greatest gift You have given me.  The ones who are turning away from You are the ones causing life's inconveniences, and i turn them over to You, and i'm not taking them back. It seemed a most unlikely angel came my way yesterday while getting on an elevator at the library  i knew he was going down and i was going up so i told him i was going up.  He didn't say anything but when i pressed floor #3 he said, "I'll wait, I'll get there eventually."  Was that the perfect cue to witness to him and i missed it?  i mean, what he...

 One cannot feel any joy without You, Lord.  Even the simplest of men can understand that.  Cleanse me some secret faults, remove them from my flesh.  You're working from the inside of me and then out and around me, putting back on the narrow way, keeping my interest in the broader way at bay.  Perhaps simpler men could never consider fearing You because they don't know what that means.  i know, at one time, i myself didn't know what it meant--i wasn't about to fear anything.  And it was always about me, me, me and i would always being taking care of myself.  It never bothered me to say, "One, please."  Ever!  i had the devil dancing in the hallways with that one! The fear of the Lord is clean, enduring forever; The judgments of the Lord are true and righteous altogether.  More to be desired are they than gold. Yeah, then much fine gold, Sweeter also than honey and the honeycomb.  Moreover by them Your servant is warned An...

You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart. --- Jeremiah 29:13]  He took the initiative to seek me, heard me in the woods that day asking Him for things which were not according to His will and when i said, "Show me the way," He did.  It's the day i returned to Him and i haven't left or turned away since. "For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which is lost."  - [Luke 19:10] You have pardoned me with abundance.  i have callouses regarding those tings that once mattered so much to me before.  i've lost all feeling for that clutter and nonsense; and it's during those waking moment in the morning i feel the joy of Your influence and presence in my heart.  "He is risen" were the first words out of my mouth this past Easter morning and i haven't lost that joy since. Sing praise to the Lord, you saints of His, and give thanks at the remembrance of His holy name.  For His anger is but for a moment, H...

 i do believe in guardian angels.  He has sent them already, especially lately.  They have been persons who seem to be in places i've been who have no business being there.  Or it's the security guard at the library who always seems to be coming out the front door while the wolves outside the library entrance have staring and glaring eyes, ready to pounce as they lie in wait for my arrival.  It's a feeling of calm that comes over me even when trouble's brewing.  He's given me a keener sense of awareness.  i'm just not riding the surf anymore.  And He has quite the sense of humor as i'm going about having a keener sense of awareness while i'm opening up the wrong side of the shaker and an avalanche of sea salt pours into the pot!   He sent out His arrows and scattered the foe, lightning in abundance, and He vanquished them.  -[Psalm 18:14] i can't begin to tell you how hated i've been feeling these past few years, even by m...

 To the enemy:  Not even the likes of you will ruin it for me!  Christ is risen!  Lord, You have given me Your Word!  You don't stand afar in times of trouble.  i know You will watch out for me against my adversaries and will let them be caught in the plots which they have devised.  - [Psalm 10: 2] The wicked bless the wicked and the greedy.  And they ignore the needy!  This is the time when the ungodly sneer at their very own Savior and bless all the other ungodly.  Lord, may they be woke  and come to You.   The helpless home in on the helpless, the homeless steal from the homeless.  Seeking to make the invulnerable vulnerable.  You were with me Lord when i was there.  In the shelter the king and queen crabs claw the other crabs down to the bottom of the crab bucket.  He lies in wait secretly as a lion in his den; he lies in wait to catch the poor. - [Psalm 10:9] Like snakes in the grass, like wol...

 The Lord doesn't want me to stress out, so why do folks try to overrule Him?  Seems there are specialists of folks attempting to stress everybody because stress and illness is all they know while living in their proverbial crab-buckets.  i've seen the creepy unprofessional stalker lying in wait getting her staff to do her dirty work by having them lie in wait because she realized she's not going to succeed in fooling everyone all the time.  She could fill up every chapter of Proverbs. O Lord, my God, in You I put my trust; Save me from all those who persecute me; And deliver me!  -[Psalm 7:1] It's not like i've done evil to them.  It's just that i'm praying to You to keep this motel from burning to the ground or someone being smothered in smoke because they fell asleep while holding a cigarette in bed.  The enemies are pursing me, gathered at the bus stop and lying in wait around the corners and outside the library doors. Arise, O Lord, in Your anger;...

 Lord Jesus, fill us all with Your Holy Spirit.  Make us aware that Your Holy Spirit is around, though we've forgotten.  This past Easter i experienced clarity and such calmness that if it were to be my last Easter i could only feel joy and peace and the serenity that i've longed for so long.  May i bring glory to You, glory to Your Holy Spirit that must be recognized.  May we all acknowledge the best gift You have given us.  In Jesus's name. Amen i don't know but ever since Easter Sunday i've never been so calm because i'm very conscious of the Holy Spirit and that's the key to my inner peace and serenity, regardless of all the noise and hoopla and hell around me,  i am acknowledging and very conscious of the Holy Spirit's presence.  i'm not even concerned whether or not i have the "wisdom," because i'm sure that i'll make plenty more wrong decisions.  But still i feel that i'll figure out His will for me, maybe i'm even fu...

 My Heavenly Father,   Thank You for all the houses filled with good thigs that i did not fill, for all the dug-out wells and ditches that i did not dig and for giving me the strength to dig the ditches i dug.  Thank You for those orchards of apple and pear and walnut trees and that grapevine all of which i did not plant.  From all of that i remained full. - [Deuteronomy 6:1] From All of That You Provide I Remain Full.  i shall not engage voluntarily in any further idolatry, and i know only You can give me the inner power and strength to overcome such temptations.  i cannot possibly do it all by myself.  Help me to do what is right in Your sight, so that i may righteously dwell wherever You see fit to dwell, according to Your will. My emotions may clamor against the surrender, but my will must hold firm.  It's my purpose God looks at, not my feelings about the purpose. . . Your thoughts are not as my thoughts.  Your ways are not as my wa...

  "...but he who blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is subject to eternal condemnation."  - [Mark 3:29] That is  the ultimate parting gift which my Lord and Savor gave me before transcending into heaven.  It is a forgotten gift for many as people resist God and Jesus and deny their existence, but they inherently know deep within that they have the potential to secure their dwelling place for the Helper.  i couldn't even imagine why the nonexistence of God and Christ that would even be suggested by anyone.  Perhaps the likes of a Marx and Manson. Thank You, Lord, for sealing me with the Holy Spirit of promise - [Ephesians 1:18]  Your seed remains in me.  i have been born of God. -[1 John 3:9] Help me to commit my life to prayer.  It isn't easy for me.  Like Moses, You will use me according to Your will.  Bless my writing as You have in the past, even the writings that were clearly against Your will.  T...

 i have the ability, the responsibility to have faith and believe and i do it with the help of the Holy Spirit, for when He's withing me and around me then i am safely hidden in the palm of His hand.  i am protected from the lip-service Christians without being arrogant.  i belong to Him and surrender is not a surrender of the heart at all.  i am more than willing to ask Him in.  This longing to have Him in is always intense.  i could never be lukewarm about it again.  Only with my emotions i love my sin but in my heart--with the Holy Spirit dwelling within--i hate that sin.  God can only carry out His will with me when i am willing.  And i consent.  "You shall walk in all the ways which the Lord your God has commanded you, that you may live and that it may be well with you, and that you may prolong your days in the Lord which you shall possess.  - [Deuteronomy 5:33]  You see me safely to my eternal reward.  You make it po...

  Is any sick among you?  Let him call for the elders of the church and let them pray over him anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord- [James 5:14] Life should be a balance of adventure and relaxation, not finances.  i must pick up my cross and sacrifice myself daily.  My dreams are so small compared to the purpose God has prepared for me.  Even though i may not know exactly what His purpose for me is yet.  You shall not add to the word which I command you, nor take from it, that you may keep the commandments of the Lord your God which i command you.  - [Deuteronomy 4:2] The Lord my God is He that goes with me to fight for me against my enemies to save me, to  do all vengeance belongs to Him.  i've taken my burdens to Him but i've brought them away with me again, just as worried and unhappy as before.  i need to take my burdens and leave them with Him, so i can have perfect rest. JESUS  saves me now - It is He Jesus SAV...

 i already have the gift of eternal life which has always been more important than any amount of money i have for myself.   Lord, You are my Shepherd and i know Your voice, just as You know mine.  Speak to me today through Your Word as You quicken it to my heart through Your Spirit and i will obey. In Jesus's name.  Amen May nothing ever again make me stagger in my faith.  One day in late December 2020 i staggered onto a road and got hit by a car which literally made me stagger on for 30 days  Couldn't even get in and out of bed because of the pain, so i slept on the floor many nights.  i had forgotten that Adam entered and sin entered and then Jesus entered, righteousness entered.   In Him, i have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace. - [Ephesian 1:7]  Through His grace i've always been rich and the miracle in my life is finally discovering that.  That thing about Jesus

 Paul's thorn could've been failing eyesight.  What then was the blessing you enjoyed?  For I bear you witness that, if possible, you would have plucked out your own eyes and given them to me. --[Galatians 4:15] Perhaps God has given me those "thorns" to keep me humble so i can fulfill His purposes, not mine.  My purposes have been misguided for decades.  A pack of wolves are gathered outside the library right now yet the sheep that i am has no heart palpitations, nor am i breaking out in a sweat, nor am i taken aback or surprised when some "danger stranger" tries to intimidate me on the street when he's so strung out, so stoned out of his mind.  Perhaps someone's gun will be my key to the kingdom one day down at the bus hub.   Even though i have been aware of the dangers and the signs along the way, i still made wrong decisions.  i should have waited before crossing streets or i should have gone a different route on my way to the library....

 It is my responsibility not to doubt that the thins i ask for in Jesus' name will happen.  It's my responsibility as a child of God to believe He will provide for me according to His will. - [Mark 11:23]  It is my responsibility to abide in love even if that applies to my enemies.  To acquire a taste for Deuteronomy and Leviticus.  You won't see me eating asparagus on a regular basis.  To be strong in faith by neve considering anything except God's Word.  It Is My Responsibility.  He who speaks for himself seeks his own glory; but He who seeks the glory of the One who sent Him is true, and no unrighteousness is in Him.  - [John 7: 18] Who's in my head, you ask?  The Good Shepherd, that's Who!  Not the gathering wolves around the entrance to the library.  No more.  None of them could ever snatch me from the hand of my Good Shepherd.  My mind is alert and fully sober now.  My thoughts are with the hope of His co...