O That She May Get A Scratchy Throat

 My decision is to live in victory.  Never mind the temporal reasons.  i remain true to the eternal reasons.  Come hell or high water, i'm in this army to stay! If they kill me, i still come out the victor because i'll join Jesus in His glorious resurrection.  i need more real love.  i know i have it for God--He knows it.  He knows what's in my heart.  But i have problems with people and their self-consuming chatter.  i sometimes wonder if i talk too seldom because yesterday on the bus i tried to have a conversation with a friend and my throat got so scratchy i could hardly talk.  i told him "i'm not used to talking."  i try not to be like "sounding brass" and a "tinkling cymbal." 

It's so wonderful to not hear her.  It's like a glorious vacation for me.  i wish it had been longer.  A chance for some space and to forget her.  But the silence just reminds me of how it could be while she's not around, so i think about her in her absence.  See, i'm writing about her now!  i may not be employed and that gets me involved more and more in the work of the Kingdom.  i don't care if nobody listens to my songs.  i know when to stop listening to other's vaunting songs. 

i imagine everybody's got a reason to boast, but i know i'm going to be bored hearing it..  O that she may get a scratchy throat.  Boasting about myself is not the way of agape love. My accomplishments are enough, and i don't need to puff them up any more than i need to.  At times, i've been guilty of this--this puffing myself up.  But now, i'm beginning to see that there is a narrower way and am heading there.  i could've been off on Broadway a long time ago.  But shame on me.  That's not agape.