About Prayer

i remember seeking and enjoying inferior pleasure because i didn't have the wisdom to seek spiritual joy.  i

don't believe it was about pursuing happiness--a very abused concept these days--for happiness is a fleeting emotion dependant on people and circumstances.  i was all into that.  Not only that but i allowed my emotions to run me--emotions which ran rampant.  It's easy for me to detect someone whose emotions are running rampant because i used to be guilty myself.  It got to the point that i didn't even want to count on hope anymore.  i had grown so cynical about life and about people.  i was spiritually thirsty.  And i had my Bible collecting dust on a shelf.  i had my dictionary and that was my bible for a time.  

i'm certainly not one to preach or teach; yet i hope i can offer to anybody, even if it's one person, what i'm going through with this process of repentance.  i used to think repentance was a one-time deal by accepting Jesus Christ as my Savior.  Actually, i did that back in high school; so it clearly didn't begin and end there this process of repentance.  i get a lot out of these preachers and teachers on YouTube these days.  It seems they focus heavily on the Bible--the ones i pay attention to.  More than i ever focused on the Bible. i certainly don't recall any time recently going to church and listening to a pastor going into the Word like my teacher on YouTube.

There were too many distractions going to church, starting with going single while everybody else were part of couples or family.  There is definitely a stigma for somebody who walks in and out of church by himself.  i remember not knowing much about praying for myself.  Only listening to the prayers of pastors.  Now, thanks to listening to the right teachers and preachers, i'm a little bit better than i used to be about prayer.  i love to read, so i'm better now about reading the Bible as well as books by some real effective preachers and teachers who know how to write.  They taught me that praying agrees with God's will.  Seeing His glory makes me more aware of my own tarnished, stained, dirty state of my own life, and that all i do is only filthy rags.  

i pray, YAH, that You will help me become the person You'd want to live with forever.  Help me to bring glory to You as long as i'm here in this world and may that be the purpose for me the rest of my stay here.  In Jesus' name.  Amen