In The Wee Hours of the Morning

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 Love does not react the way my way to people who've done me wrong.  And when something goes wrong with them, i've said, "Good, serves them right."  It's almost a sense of perverted joy when something wrong happens to them.  i've had bad enemies; i would've preferred to love them.  YAH, i should've prayed to You because i needed help dealing with my enemies.    If all of us don't repent, we will come under severe judgement.  Heavenly Father, there are many things bad someone has done to me.  He subjected me to humiliation, he bullied me, he intimidated me.  Perhaps he was resentful when i came along because now i took much of the attention away from him.  i forgive him, as i know You already have. You were looking over my shoulder when i wrote that note to him, telling him i hoped he would get right with You.  That You could love him a million times more than i could ever love him.

i know You want me to forgive him, and i have, although thoughts of the past may creep up.  i'm sure some demonic spirits love that when that happens.  Especially in the wee hours of the morning.  i've had trouble falling asleep after that.  He had fallen into a heap of trouble which i don't have to go into because You already know what i'm referring to.  You must have touched my heart during that time because i didn't have that feeling of vengeance and i certainly didn't say, "Good, serves him right!"  The Holy Spirit, indeed, already convicted my heart, even when i wasn't aware of it. i realize now that rejoicing in my brother's trouble is not the way for Your love to behave.

 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not [a]puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, [b]thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. - [1 Corinthians 13: 4-7]



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