Heart, Soul, and Strength

"I am willing to be completely destitute anyway, willing to be poverty-stricken.  Not just for your sakes but also that i may be able to get you to God." -[the Apostle Paul]  Yet for my sake, He became poor.  i am to serve others as Jesus has served me.  The Greatest One would be the servant of all..  Jesus out-socialized the socialists!  so i am beginning to shed the reservation about serving God.  Andrew Wommack is not the one to be served.  His speaking in tongues bit has bugged me for quite some time.  Perhaps God was nudging me not to go to Colorado.  At least i haven't ended up in the belly of a great fish. Rod Parsley gives me the creeps, too.  So i could never relocate to Columbus, although that would have been more preferable than going all the way in the cold to Colorado.  And i just don't mean "cold" weather-wise.  Comparatively speaking, Paul had a lot less area to travel, so he couldn't nor shouldn't have rese...

And He marveled because of their unbelief... -[Mark 6:6]  There's no shortage of offense toward Jesus Christ these days.  Nor toward the Heavenly Father.  It isn't going to anger me because it isn't going to anger God; He knows what was coming and not even i can really be surprised anymore and i don't mind standing alone.  And whoever will not receive you nor hear you, when you depart from there, shake off the dust under your feet as a testimony against them.  Assuredly, I say to you, it will be more tolerable for Sodom and Gomorrah in the day of judgment then for that city! - [v. 11] It's John the Baptist!  No, it's Elijah! No, it's Jeremiah! No!  It's not a bird.  Not a plane ... It's Jesus the Messiah, Son of God! If it weren't for a woman and her mother, John the Baptist's head wouldn't have ended up on a platter!  Perserverance is knowing my Lord and Savior will never be conquered.  God will never be defeated.  He's alread...

 Abba, You know what You're bringing forth and what You're begetting.  It is no my place to know or to predict.  i could neither argue with nor curse at You.  i thank You Lord that there is more room in than out.  Oh that i walk in the flesh but no longer war according to the flesh. - [2 Corinthians 10:3] How can i ignore You when You remind me of Your commandments?  Or how do i realize i am a pathetic, lowly sinner far from perfection.  So i cannot boast or have any pride.  You are the First One i listen to now.  Help me to have the courage to be ready, to be obedient, whenever You call on me to do Your will.  Thank You for loving me even when i fail You. i don't ever believe You expect me to be treated like the filth of the world.  i don't see myself back out on the street rummaging through garbage cans for a meal; You have better plans for me. Not when my purpose now is to ever seek You and discover Your will.  Daydrea...

 All Your springs are in me.  How can i operate on only five hours of sleep lately?  i take the Bible and read through Psalms and then You put me to rest.  And i thank You for that!  During the day it seems i don't need to yawn and drift off while seated and still.  Can i now begin to bring my mind and thoughts under control?  Is being myself the worst idol i have?  The source of  my problems?  i never looked at it like that before i met You.  i have been blinded fo quite some time and i can see it when i'm kept up at night  i'd like You to put me in relationships i've never before experienced.  Maybe that means i keep an eye on You.  a stayed eye.  i need to start having vertical vision and to put my total trust in You.  My mind truly is not as starved as it used to be.  Thanks to You, i am in a better relationship with You.  Keep taking away my impulsive thinking.  It's time to wake up and r...

My stubbornness and self-will will always pierce the side of Jesus.  You Holy Spirit dwells within me and i could never ever inflict more pain or wounds on Your Spirit.  You are omnipresent and you keep all of us who love You and follow You from being lonely.  i have already begun to give back Your glorious rainbow.  i had once taken it living the gay lifestyle.  At times my flesh tends to be weaker than i would like, but i always remember You dwelling inside me, Lord.  i persecuted You, beloved Jesus, for 63 years and i am able to repent and abide in You with joy and repentance. i accept Your gift of salvation because You are gentle, lowly, and humble and i can be humble as well since You've handled betrayal so brilliantly so that You could carry out Your mission of finding and saving lost sheep, i can handle betrayal as well; and there's more than enough to go around these days.  i am a proclaimer!  So i must speak the truth!  And my reward...

 Thank You, Heavenly Father, for You have designed such beautiful weather and sunshine and scenery these past few days.  You set me up with a wonderful Christian brother yesterday and gave me the courage and wisdom to speak to him.  i will remain still and avoid the distractions that detract from any service You are about to assign me.  i will wait on Your time.  At times i want to move but i know i must wait on You.  i may not have visions because You'd prefer me to have dreams instead.   You help me to look beyond my own confidence and that of others who follow You as well; "Yet surely my just reward is with the Lord, And my work with my God." [Isaiah 49:4] What other goal besides being in heaven with eternal salvation do i need?  Here on earth, just to have this connection and awareness of You is enough.  The blessings bestowed upon me through the blood of Jesus Christ allow me to finish whatever i start when i get to be with You in h...

 Righteousness is all about God and being godly.  He deserves all the glory and credit for my resurrection and repentance.  Otherwise, thinking it all comes from me is what would be considered self-righteous.  Having been set free from sin i became a slave of righteousness - [ Romans 6:18] It's better to be free of sin than to be free of righteousness.  i can no longer cut the fruit that came off of the branch; in fact, that fruit is gone. Can't eat something that isn't there.  Now it's just a matter of fleshly lusts that creep up as sticky residue that hasn't been completely washed away.  i praise You, God, for convicting me, making me realize that what i'm actually writing about is genuine. But now having been set free from sin and having become slaves of God you have your fruit to holiness and the end everlasting life. --[v. 22] What an oxymoron!  The end is the beginning!  People who aren't interested in righteousness and godliness wouldn...

 If i obey God, it's going to cost other people more than it's going to cost me.  To those who do n ot have Jesus, my obedience will cost a great deal.  i have upset their plans.  i'm not smoking or drinking with those who purported be by my friends in the fist place.  i've runed their plans.  Yet i must remain friends with them.  i have to purport to be friends because God commands it. God has covered all the costs, so i cannot, nor need not, take on the costs myself.  God loves me unconditionally until i impose on Him any conditions for obeying Him.  It's not worth the time, effort, or energy to come up with conditions for God; i'll end up on the asphalt on my ass again. i died.  That was a most liberating day.  i felt that i had the option of freedom, and it came from You, Abba.  my dad had been dead for more than a decade.  Mother had died less than three weeks a before.  i had died to sin and the process of repen...

 i stretch out my hand and answer for myself by asking what Paul asked King Agrippa; "Why should it be thought incredible by you that God raises the dead?"---[Act 26:8] How long had i determined to go about the rest of my days antichrist?  It had been many years a conscious decision, one of rebellion because as a senior in high school, i was a lay reader at church Sunday morning.  i had dreams of being an Episcopal minister but that was only a dream based on the summer camp fantasies i had when i thought being a reverend was so cool, like the mailman walking the streets in the neighborhood when i was 5...playing soccer and singing around the campfire. "...At midday, O king, along the road I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun, shining around me... ''[Acts 26:13]  When i got struck by that car on 29DEC20 i didn't have to ask "Who are you, Lord?"--[v. 15] because i had just been talking to Him while smoking a joint in the woods, asking Him ...

 i want to take whatever measure of faith You've given me and use it for Your glory.  Should anyone ask what i do for a living now, that's it.  i'm more than just another retiree.  Not necessarily making a salary to be taxed and spent.  Ready to volunteer my time for You.  i've been guilty many times of thinking that i'm more worthy of salvation or if not looking at somebody and thinking, "glad i don't have to deal with him again in heaven."  i've never said these words out loud to anybody but there have been brief seconds when the feeling was there.  Forgive me, Abba. Oh, the things i've said and thought in my day.  Fragile, earthly human that i am now.  There's no sense in not saying these things because You can detect lies in what i'm not saying.  At times, i don't want to be in a position where i end up lying by saying or not saying something.  i have been turned from darkness to light.  i had been converted long,...

 i haven't any problems when it comes to not drawing attention to myself.  Nor allowing outside distractions keep me from communing with You---"that where You are, there i may be also." -[John 14:3] i cannot be troubled because i choose peace.  i can stir up peace before i can stir up trouble.  i may not see You now but because of Your Holy Spirit i feel You, Abba.  i feel You.  The Father who dwells in Me does the works.  -[John 14:10] You've got to dwell in me if i am to know You. "I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you." --[v. 18]  Thank You, Jesus for the resurrection power You have given me.  i delight in being a branch on Your vine in my late 60s i am finally being pruned.  i almost became that broken off olive branch burning in a pile somewhere on some stranger's property.  Help me to love, love, love my frenemies, friends, and enemies. "You did not choose Me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and...

 i am willing to make that internal sacrifice and yield completely, Lord.  i know that my human pride is always going to creep in to compete with You.  i will not blame everything on the Enemy either because i have no intention of giving him too much credit for anything, since he's already lost the war against You.  i am helplessly human without You.  i must put away all these illusions of self-sufficiency.  It's time to receive completely all that my Lord Jesus has given me.  When somebody has broken her promise it's because she never had the power to deliver on her promise anyway.  With You Lord, i know better. And the same goes for me.  i don't have the power to deliver either.  So Holy Spirit, keep reminding me that You've invaded my heart.  The counterfeits can't understand that the money i receive is really God's money, so they resent how i give it away--perhaps my and God's way of washing others' feet.  Worship, waiting,...

 Whenever there is doubt, i will wait on You.  You will guide me.  You have already assured me You will.  You've got a picture of me in Your wallet!  So i know You always are watching over me.  Funny how i can be pondering something one day all day into the night and by the next morning You've given me the epiphany--like this blog is to be a continuous love letter to You. Who's willing to wash anybody's feet these days?  i had no choice who was to become my brother.  Now it seems i do have that choice.  Yet i still haven't found anybody's feet i'd really want to wash.  Don't tell me that if i'm willing to wash Your feet i'd have to be willing to wash my brother's feet.  Although i suppose that when it comes to helping my brother--the biological one who i had no choice to have as a brother--i could wash his feet now.  that's about all the progress i can make at this point as a Christian.  My brother was hell to grow up with...

 My chains are in Christ.  What you rubberneckers intend for evil can only be of this world and thanks be to my glorious Abba--today i am not part of this world.  My joy comes from being closer to God.  i watch the counterfeits with their allotment of envy and strife.  Not appearing very Christian.  Influenced by the ways of the world.  i leave their judgement in God's hands. i will go out trusting in God in every detail now.  What's He going to do next?  i'm not about to worry about these earthly matters knowing that God has got my back.  Who else could or would?  i wouldn't think of disrespecting God ever again by worrying about these earthly matters.  Only on Him i depend.  i don't need nor want to see things clearly ahead of time.  Like Sarah, Enoch, Abraham, Abel, i want to experience the joy of surprise God has in store for me. These all died in faith, not having received the promises, but having seen them ...

 Help me this day, beloved Abba, in renewing my mind so that when it seems people are plotting i know that nothing gets past You.  Give me added wisdom as i study Your word this morning, so that i can continue this feeling of having no butterflies in my stomach when i think too long and hard on certain issues especially early in the morning when i should feel fresh for a new day which You have granted me. Continue to bless and protect my body as a vehicle to get me around so i can glorify Your name these next few years i have left.  May i seek Your guidance and counsel on every issue and move i make!  May i never vainly puff up my fleshly mind and if i do may i quickly catch myself and take hold of Your gift of wisdom and salvation.  You are the One who deserves all the glory because You run the whole thing without fault and effort.  Keep me aware of the power of Jesus' resurrection because You've granted me that same power though i may not be worthy of it....

 God the Father of my Lord who deserves any and all the glory, thank You for granting me the spirit of wisdom every moment upon rising out of bed until the moment i return to bed at night.  Guide me into knowing who and what i'm dealing with daily and even in keeping my mouth shut when i observe somebody being manipulative and idolatrous--keep me aware that You love humility, humility, humility. Wisdom is Your wonderful gift to me, give me the wisdom to acquire and hold onto it.  Thank You for granting me this supernatural wisdom so that i may honor You in all that i do and say.  i cannot fall from grace now because i have already fallen into Your grace.  You are always doing what You please and are always pleased with what You do.  Show me to do that pleases You and not me so much.  No one can ever snatch me out of Your hand. Help me to persist in a loving attitude and behavior through my Holy Spirit within me.  i can return safely and securely t...

 My anger toward counterfeit Christians can't be a good trait in me.  i shouldn't be angry.  i need to repent when my anger is concerned.  i need to change my mind when it comes to becoming angry and resentful toward counterfeit Christians.  If God deems it appropriate to have the earth swallow them up alive, then He will be judge and jury.  i will be a mere witness.  i give the rainbow back with no regrets.  i see You, Lord, the One to be exalted above the earth and within all cities and i yield the rainbow back to You.  You are greatly exalted and if You reclaim the rainbow, then it's always been Yours. "If my people who are called by My name will humble themselves and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land.  -[2 Chronicles 7:14] It is time i removed the plank from my own eye.

 i just wanted you to know that Jesus died on the cross for me.  Believe that, receive that and spend your life in eternity with me.  i gave up my pride and yielded myself to Christ and haven't looked back since!  i'm amazed every day at how God opens my eyes! He is there with me when others want to confront me but they're conspiring against me and He makes me aware and able to see around every corner.  He even has provided one of His angels to look after me!   Let those be turned back and brought to confusion Who plot my hurt.  Let them be chaff before the wind. -- [Psalm 35: 4-5] Let Your catcher in the rye catch them.  You are my salvation. i accept your gift of salvation and believe Christ died for me and am accepted by You to spend my life in eternity with those who also receive and believe.  i sacrifice in turn my own selfish pride and yield to You to be guided by Your Holy Spirit within me.  My eyes stay open to You!...

 " ...it will turn out for you an occasion for testimony...I will give you a mouth and wisdom which all your adversaries will not be able to contradict or resist...You will be betrayed by parents and brothers, relatives and friends ; and they will put some of you to death...And you will be hated by all for My name's sake.  But not a hair on your head shall be lost.  By your patience possess your souls." --[Luke 21: 12, 15-19] This is the Age of Recycled Garbage, so i'm not surprised if there'll be another election between President Biden and Donald Trump --we can't possibly think a new thought, only who we prefer to have the most power.   Many will come in His name and deceive many.  The beginnings of sorrows have begun. "And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another...the love of many will grow cold...he who endures to the end will be saved...For false christs and false prophets will rise and show great signs ...