All These Illusions of Self-Sufficiency

 i am willing to make that internal sacrifice and yield completely, Lord.  i know that my human pride is always going to creep in to compete with You.  i will not blame everything on the Enemy either because i have no intention of giving him too much credit for anything, since he's already lost the war against You.  i am helplessly human without You.  i must put away all these illusions of self-sufficiency.  It's time to receive completely all that my Lord Jesus has given me.  When somebody has broken her promise it's because she never had the power to deliver on her promise anyway.  With You Lord, i know better.

And the same goes for me.  i don't have the power to deliver either.  So Holy Spirit, keep reminding me that You've invaded my heart.  The counterfeits can't understand that the money i receive is really God's money, so they resent how i give it away--perhaps my and God's way of washing others' feet.  Worship, waiting, and work should be as one.  Jesus, You could never be the last person  to be intimate with--not ever.  Have i ever had a really true friendship before?

Thought, heart, spirit identifying with anybody before?  The purpose of my life is to grow in a loving relationship with You, Jesus.  Though it seems i've wasted so many years before realizing this, knowing You've been watching and waiting for me, it hasn't been a waste of time after all; You've granted me that gift of time as well.  No more emotional, pitiful reactions to Your love, Lord.  When i watched We Are Marshall the other night i couldn't get through it with a dry eye, but that just affirmed the fact that i was alive with sensitivity and that my heart is still healthy.  You've made me healthy again.  All the glory goes to You.