Who Has Died the Necessary Death

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity And cleanse me from my sin.  For I acknowledge my transgressions.  And my sin is always before me.  Against You, You only, have I sinned, and done this evil in Your sight--That You may be found just when You speak.  And blameless when You judge. -[Psalm 51: 2-4]

Maybe soon i'll attend a church regularly, but it can't be just any church.  i've been so disappointed because i never find any one- not one--who has died the necessary death.  i know this kind because i was the same way.  i didn't want to bury the old me because i believed the old me was happier without any restrictions.  i was headed straight into hell  because i was constantly against God, but finally i had come to repentance with the full understanding that it's an ongoing process that takes place every day of my life now.

Where once i mocked at virtue i'm constantly seeking virtue to become consistently a part of my life.  i'm not going to find virtue in any one else but Jesus.  The dark continues to get darker without Jesus.  The light has to get brighter for such a time as this.  i would die a hundred times over and over if i thought i could do anything that's an abomination to God.