"Gawd, That's A Frightening Thought"

What have i feared the most?  When God said to be fruitful and multiply.  Because i hadn't come close but perhaps it was because He knew i wouldn't be very successful at having children of my own.  There was once upon a time a period when i was the last male child on my side of the family and it would've been up to me to carry on the family name, and i remember my dad's mother saying, "Gawd, that's a frightening thought."

Granma may have loved me, but she didn't like me.  i don't think You, Abba Father, could or would judge me for not procreating.  Perhaps it was by Your design for whatever reason i won't know until i see You in heaven.

With or without a child of my own, You still promised me that You would never leave me.  And You've been available anytime.  With You, my security truly rests.  i view You as my Source and You will determine my course.  i am a child of God and i'll have my own unique place--a place You've set aside for me.  YAH, i thank You now for that.  i've begun to let go of all comparisons, competitions, and rivalries.  i surrender to Your love, Abba Father, and i am ready to transfer my sense of security and significance over to You, i will spend the rest of my days trying to regain what was originally lost in the Garden of Eden.  Jesus Christ covered that for me.  Thanks to Him, the void in my life has been filled to the rim.