Roaches and Butts

 He wants me as i am.  He does not want anything from me, a sacrifice, a work; He wants me alone.  i can hide nothing from God.  The mask i wear before men will do me no good before Him.  He wants me as i am.  He wants to be gracious to me and He is and always will be gracious to me, even with all my fleshly desires and lusts and disdain for other people.  He is so gracious, even in my solitude, even when nobody else is watching.  i walked right past a juicy joint yesterday on the street and then a half-smoked cigarette butt not much farther up the street.  i walked by both and i thanked Him immediately.  He is responsible.  He is gracious.  i can only hope i could please Him as He observed me. The two of us remembering the days i carried an empty cigarette box when i would pick up that roach and butt--like taking up a collection--and saved it for later so i could mix a bunch of roaches and butts to roll, light up, and intensify the high. 

Praise the Lord!  He set me free!  Like the chains around Paul and Silas they're no longer keeping me in bondage.  i have other issues to tend to, though. It's never easy. i have heard the sound of the trumpet and i shall turn from my evil ways.  i won't pine away on my sins and transgressions.  i will have the eyes of the watchman. 

None of the sins i've committed shall be remembered against me.  In my process of repentance and turning back onto the righteous way, i shall live not die.  The way of the Lord is fair.  My way could never be.  i will only die if i don't turn from my iniquities.