Lust

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 Jesus had to control His outrage.  Fear tolerated is Faith contaminated.  i trust and believe in God, no matter what.  i mustn't believe in the circumstances more than the promise; although i must discern whether God or Satan put this desire to move in my heart.  It's easy to see what the devil's up to.  He knows i'd do anything to get out of this MotorMouth Motel, but that would mean leaving all my doctors and change all my medical and dental insurance, leave me out in a wilderness that is inconveniently spread out where there's no public transportation while where i'm at there is plenty.

Satan can only do what i allow him to do.  He and his demonic mimicry.  There is already a great falling away and apostasy to keep him active and hopeful of having any impact.  i am unmarried, have been all my life and now i care for the things of the Lord and pleasing Him, and not some wife who probably would be too neurotic to appreciate me anyway.  Neurotic female coworkers i find running rampant these days.  My challenge is to resist taking over the authority of matters and wait on God and let Him come up with the solutions for me.


How do i know N. D. hasn't prayed about the matter himself and perhaps has decided that having me move into a room he's providing isn't the best idea.  Or perhaps Satan's working on him, too--telling him that not answering or responding to my requests for pictures of the place.  If i'm going to send N. D. money at least i can say i got a look at the place before i sent it.  i've been nearly burned before with a rental scam.

My heart needs to be fear proofed.  Am i desiring to get out of the MoterMouth Motel with such intensity as to be lustful about it?  Is God telling me to stay put and battle my fears here.  i'll  have plenty of challenges staying here.  Should i seek employment here once again?  When the Colorado job applications ask for 4 references, is that a sign that the 4th reference is one that could only hurt my chances?  i praise God for giving me restraint from my past lusts.  i can feel myself going through the process of repentance.

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