They in the World Could Never Hold a Candle to the Ones Inside Me

 What's bringing me joy?  Sitting here quietly convalescing through Covid---and i thought i could never get it --not worrying about rushing out the door anytime soon toady; being quiet and still with a cup of coffee during my time with the Lord; a sense of yet another Sabbath with my Heavenly Father.  The feeling of feeling better than the way i felt on Monday.  Catching up on my rest, catching up on my reading, shutting out the world--they in the world could never hold a candle to the Ones inside me.

What makes me sad is knowing that those who purport to be Christians and only lend lip service will be told by Jesus, "I did not know you."  The thought that Mother and Dad won't make it home--my brother might not make it home either.  What makes me sad is not holding up my end of the bargain; that i won't cut the muster.  Oh, i'll get home but may only be worthy of a few rewards.

What sin do i need to confess?  i must admit that the prospect of a lot of people i've run into these past few years won't be getting to heaven pleases me; i won't miss them.  Heaven will be better without them; and i'm selfish enough to think that i'll be better off without them.  So...i need to pray for my enemies more, ask God to bless them.  Pray that the ones who purport to be Christians will abide in Christ and build a strong, bonding relationship with Him.

i'm thinking of someone now who angers me every time she opens her mouth or knocks on my door.  She is clearly the slave of two masters.  It turned my stomach one day when i walked in the office and caught her counting money, like shuffling a deck of cards--then i knew who her real master was this whole time.  i hope she asks me what's getting between us now because the closer i'm getting to God in this process of repentance i'm going through, the further i want to get away from the likes of her.  i want to tell her to keep her Bible open and her mouth shut and to look in the mirror and she'll figure things out for herself.

Therefore laying aside all malice, all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and all evil speaking as newborn babies, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby if indeed you have tasted that the Lord is gracious. --1 Peter 2: 1-3]