Now i Lay me Down to Sleep

 Even on the best of days when things seem to be going well for me, i can feel that there is something not quite right.  Something is always missing.  i need to focus my attention on His own purpose and grace.  i worship God not so much to do something for Him but to affirm His lordship over my life.  i'm in desperate need of His lordship because without Him, His Son, His angelic forces, i am lost.  i am nothing. Where do i see myself in 5 years?  Where is the ideal dwelling place for me?  What am i going to do for the rest of my earthly, natural life that will be the most fulfilling?

Physically, i can see and feel myself weakening, getting bored and tired of exercise and dieting.  Now i lay me down to sleep and hope You Lord take me in my sleep.  My last breath here leads to my first breath in heaven.  That's a good goal to achieve.  Even on the best of days when things seem to be going well for me, i still feel that there is something missing.

i see God on my side, working for my eternal benefit and i praise Him with intensity in sporadic fashion--in the most amount of faith i can muster.  sometimes i feel i fall short.  People around me anger me.  People around me don't seem to like me.  People around me are selfish and have no respect for me.  People could easily shoot me at a Fourth of July parade or on the city bus.  It always feels like something is missing, that things are not quite right.

He has saved us and called us to a holy life--not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace.  [2 Timothy 1:9]