Is This Me Engineering This Decision?

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 i've had earthly wisdom for far too long.  It wasn't getting me as far as i believed because my beliefs were earthly, sensual, demonic - [James 3:15].  i remember not so long ago sitting in the woods, sipping on joints and cigarettes talking with God and asking Him to bless me with idolatrous things because misguided dreams hadn't been coming through for me.  For when envy and self-seeking exist, confusion and every evil thing are there--[James 3:16] The devil and his demons must've been having a hardy laugh watching and listening to me.

My dialogue with God now goes something like this:  O God, Your way and Your plan for my life outshines anything the Enemy or me could ever come up with within the time left of my earthly existence.  Now i'm going to begin asking You if this is a wise decision or am i'm going on earthy wisdom--is this me engineering this decision.  Or is it Your will?

Is this a wise use of my talents, gifts, skills, or resources that only You are wonderful and awesome enough to grant me in order to glorify Your name and fulfill the purpose You have for me?  On 29DEC20 i can't get over the feeling that You put the rod to my backside because i was so devoid of understanding--[Proverbs 10:13] Yes, i got hit by a car and got hurt but You weren't ready for me yet.  You had plans for me and the first step was to stop smoking.  Praise the Lord!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.--[Proverbs 3: 5-6]

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